“SpermCommand” Group Chat Revealed!

High-ranking members of the Trump Administration, including RFK Jr. and Dr. Oz, along with connected outsiders such as Joe Rogan and Elon Musk, recently engaged in a months-long group chat centered primarily around Americans’ sperm count.

Much of the chat involved the sharing, and discussion of, newly-released or -discovered sperm research or sperm content, usually in the form of blog posts or podcast episodes produced by or featuring so-called “sperm experts,” and dealing with the topics of sperm, sperm counts, or sperm demographics.

The Derelict Press has been granted access to verified screenshots of the texts, and is publishing select excerpts of the conversation below.

*StarmanElon changed chat name to SpermCommand*

RfkJr: Check out this study: [link] A lot of what I’ve been thinking about when it comes to sperm for a long time. Everybody plz read it, and subscribe to [author]’s substack, great sperm researcher and knows the most about sperm of anyone in the country.

*JdVp has left the chat*

*DocOz has added JdVp to the chat*

JdVp: Sorry guys! Whoops haha

JdVp: planning on reading this aSAP, after I pick the kids up from daycare

StarmanElon: This is what I’m hearing. Why aren’t we doing something?? this is the end of civilization as we know it

*StarmanElon changed screenname to EL00nyTooN5*

WarHegs: That link disn’t working for me, do i need substack too read

JRogan: That article is so crazy, I didn’t know we needed so much more sperm. All the woke comedy clubs won’t let you talk about sperm counts anymore

*EL00nyTooN5 changed screenname to CaptElonSperm*

CaptElonSperm: We have to stay on top of this. Without our constant attention to sperm we run the risk of having a true sperm crisis in america and the world and sperm is very important to the future of western civilization and the human species, all sperm guys say so, and we have to save the world with our knowledge of sperm. Let’s use this chat as a sperm-information depository.

JRogan: Wow yeah definitely

*CaptElonSperm changed chat name to SPERMCommandCenter*

*CaptElonSperm changed chat name to SpermCommand*

RfkJr: I’ve been reading incredible things recently about the sperm count of young men, things you wouldn’t believe about their sperm

WarHegs: can i logg ons subtack? not openening

DocOz: There are so many unbabied Americans, and hopefully we can Make America Babied Again and get every American that wants to be babied babied.

RfkJr: Most young boys have the sperm count of a 71 year old man.

JRogan: You’re blowing my mind with this stuff. You’re saying that we need to sperm baby our kids??

NoemOntheRange: Thanks Fellas! Keep up the good work, and we will re-sperm this country to celebrate the greatness of our wonderful leader Donald J. Trump!

*CaptElonSperm changed chat name to SpermDudes*

*CaptElonSperm changed chat name to SpermCommand*

RfkJr: This is a great scientific discussion. We will solve America’s health crisis by engaging in debate like this!

WarHegs: siri what is substack password

RfkJr: It’s not just sperm, we have a testosterone crisis, possibly related to sperm crisis. according to the scientific studies that I’m discovering on Grok that were secret before

MRubio: Did you say young boys? Are they supposed to have a sperm count?

CaptElonSperm: SPERM! SPERM! SPERM!!

DocOz: Joe, you should consider having [author] on your show to talk about this sperm crisis, and maybe the health crisis overall.

CaptElonSperm: seriously let’s keep this chat dedicated to sperm, the one true thing that will guide the future of humanity. I created a separate group chat for testosterone. We have to make sure that men are creating enough sperm to ensure the continued growth of population that will supply the data so that GrokAI will become a truly Superintelligence and save us all and we can live in the whole universe instead of just this one planet which is destroying our sperm. It’s that critical.

JRogan: I’d love to have [author] on the show. I’ve had some other sperm researchers on before. It’s such a crazy subject, and they all think we need more sperm.

JRogan: Elon that’s wild. Never even thought of it like that at all. It’s like all of humanity is a butterfly, and we’re all going into a cocoon. And that cocoon is ai. And when we come out, we’re going to be an even better butterfly.

JdVp: Joe, when are you going to have me back on your show?? My schedule’s pretty open, especially during the week. LOL. It was a blast the first time. Love to talk about sperm, or whatever you want. Let me know!

RfkJr: Elon create another group for girls puberty, because according to what I’m reading they are hitting it years younger than usual. It’s very concerning. I’m more concerned with sperm counts of young boys and 71 year old men, to be clear, but it’s still concerning.

DocOz: What we need to do is make sure girls puberty aligns with the peak sperm years of young men

RfkJr: Yes I’ve listened to many podcasts that agree with that.

THEkidRock: Guys! This is great, I never thought about how important sperm was before.

*WarHegs has added SubstackSupport to chat*