The Derelict Press

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs

Knight Rides Again

A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist

Knight Rides Again

Robb Witmer|June 22, 2026

Space Pipes LLC: Piping the Universe

For immediate release

Space Pipes LLC: Piping the Universe

Robb Witmer|April 23, 2026

Trump’s Heaven Application

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

Trump’s Heaven Application

Robb Witmer|November 21, 2025

“SpermCommand” Group Chat Revealed!

Confidential discussions at the highest levels of government

“SpermCommand” Group Chat Revealed!

Robb Witmer|November 19, 2025

Leaked Transcript: 'Cheese Or Noodle' featuring JD Vance

The humiliating game show debut of the future vice president

Leaked Transcript: 'Cheese Or Noodle' featuring JD Vance

Robb Witmer|October 30, 2025

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs

What is The Derelict Press?? Good question

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs

Robb Witmer|October 18, 2025