The Derelict Press

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs

Chillin' With the Homies After Our Big Day

We need to blow off some steam

Chillin' With the Homies After Our Big Day
Robb Witmer
July 09, 2026

Knight Rides Again

A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist

Knight Rides Again
Robb Witmer
June 22, 2026

Space Pipes LLC: Piping the Universe

For immediate release

Space Pipes LLC: Piping the Universe
Robb Witmer
April 23, 2026

Trump’s Heaven Application

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

Trump’s Heaven Application
Robb Witmer
November 21, 2025

“SpermCommand” Group Chat Revealed!

Confidential discussions at the highest levels of government

“SpermCommand” Group Chat Revealed!
Robb Witmer
November 19, 2025

Leaked Transcript: 'Cheese Or Noodle' featuring JD Vance

The humiliating game show debut of the future vice president

Leaked Transcript: 'Cheese Or Noodle' featuring JD Vance
Robb Witmer
October 30, 2025

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs

What is The Derelict Press?? Good question

When the going gets weird, the weird write blogs
Robb Witmer
October 18, 2025